To God be the Glory

I am a Bar Passer.

Praised be the Name of God.

Praised be Mary, Most Holy.

Praised be the Prince St. Michael.

Praised be the Holy Apostle St. Jude.

Praised be the Holy Apostle Bartholomew.

Praised be St. Therese.

Praised be St. Dominic.

Praised be St. Thomas.

Praised be St. Raymund of Penafort.

Praised be St. Martin.

Praised be St. Faustina.

Praised be St. Claire.

Praised be St. Francis.

Praised be Blessed Margaret.

Praised be St. Padre Pio.

Praised be the Name of God Forever. Amen.

This blog is a tribute to my long journey towards one fulfillment. The next journey is about to begin. To all the people, friends, loved ones... Thank You all.

And now, this blog finally comes to a close.

And a new story shall begin.

Until the next blog....

The Things I did today.

Went Greenbelt, attended Church Services, which somehow gave me some spiritual respite. The Greenbelt chapel being so cosmopolitan that I felt like a blank mask in a sea of faces. It felt good. And I thank God for the good tidings which I received today.

Hung out at Fuzion for a few hours with some friends and acquaintances from the Economics Major of AB. Dined at Big Buddha. Had a few drinks at Cena, then danced the night away at bed space.

I enjoyed it. And all the dreary moments of my solitude went away for a while.

Yesterday I had a nice conversation over coffee with Lot. Those things about Girl A and Girl B… about taking risks et al. Plus, that superb and profuse use of our own language. Nobody understands us better than us ourselves. Our world is once again relived.

In these two days of wondering, I’ve come to the conclusion that I should not close doors, but at the same time, I should be cautious enough not to let someone enter just like that. I guess I have set the terms thereof… The issue of trust. How much trust am I willing to repose and how much trust should be given to me.

I had good moments for the past two days. And it felt good despite the confusion.

Noche Penultima

After this night’s game, I decided to join up with some college friends in Gateway, turns out that only five of us came. The reasons why I decided urgently to go was first, I haven’t seen an old college best friend of mine since February, since he is based in Mindanao, secondly, I wanted to see old faces before the calendar changes, and lastly, my freshmen college love interest is present, and I want to see that sweet face once more… without the butterflies in the stomach feeling of course.

I looked tired and haggard, well, perhaps due the fact that I was tired and dehydrated, a nocturnal creature, maybe I wasn’t much in the mood, and perhaps I wasn’t in my element. Also, I was putting them off in the past years because of certain complicated issues, especially since it involved relationships and former relationships within the circle of college people who went to law school.

More pressingly, I’ve always known that plenty has changed, and whatever I would probably share with them would be of no interest. In short, I could no longer relate very much with this social circle of mine, perhaps because we rarely ever so meet, and perhaps also because I already live in a world far different from theirs. I only keep constant contact with those within the legal circle, closest friends and those whom I have permanent communications with. I feel as if I was left behind in many respects. Law school perhaps is a secular monastery, the seclusion of the chaos which I learned to love and find peace within is so much that the world around me seemed to revolve faster. Perhaps it is true… we grow old faster than the rest. I do feel older than the world.

I had plenty of opportunity lately to travel in the nearby provinces with some family and family friends, but I declined. I feel that it is not the time for me to see the idyllic world, or perhaps, my fear of the unknown future has taken me aback so much that my adventurism has faded. Or perhaps because right now I am looking for my personal stability, re: passing the bar, having a good practice, stable relationship vis-à-vis independence.

At one point we felt the power surging in us as law students and barristers, but now, we are like blind folded people in a dark labyrinth, or may be the people of Israel lost in the desert.

Justice Javier once said to us that we have to accept our new lives from the time we chose this calling. And so I have. This is me now. This is me.

During the Christmas Eve mass, the prayers of the faithful mentioned the doctors and nurses on duty during Christmas eve, immediately, I thought of my brother, who a few years from now would no longer be at home, and would be out there, trying to save lives. That is his calling. This is mine.

2007 is full of events which are emotionally charged, awe inspiring and heart-wrenching at the same time. You only remember those parts, but you cannot recall the rest. It is true, as they say that during your Bar, one year of your life just passes you by. I never felt 2007. I only felt the anguish and seen the pallor of people’s weary faces. We have sacrificed so much, and so much tears, sweat and blood have been shed in 2007. Was it worth it?

It should. This is our Zahir. The Zahir is of Arabic origin, which means a person or a thing which becomes an obsession, which would either lead to a state of holiness or of madness. I see no difference in either. Holiness or madness is one and the same. I still do believe that God never gives us challenges which we cannot conquer. Throughout the years, I have been through these challenges which will test one’s faith, sense of duty and honor.

Most of the time right now, I am in deep thought, I do not speak unless what I will say is worth saying. I rarely find pleasure in material things. I used to love being around people, but now I prefer the solitude. I prefer heart-felt conversations about life, love and dreams.

I am humble enough to admit that I am very afraid… not just of the Bar, but all of incidents and accidents of life. I want more out of it, and I am not stopping, just a little faith and courage. That decisive moment will come to pass, and perhaps, I will recapture that elusive peace of mind.

Peace of mind… ahhh… how I long for your sweet embrace.

May 2008 be our defining moment. We must shine and take flight to the stars, and among the stars shall we remain.

Nam omnia praeclara tam difficilia quam rara sunt.

For all that is great, is as difficult as is it rare.

The december weekend that was...

Had a fun weekend which started in Greenbelt Makati last friday. Cyma restaurant is highly recommended despite the four-star price, I'd give it a 5 out of 5. For the first time I read a menu which all sounds Greek to me, both literally and figuratively. But the food was oh so good, a true taste of fusion Mediterreanean cuisine. The baby back ribs (costs about 900 Php) is highly recommended. Service is good.

Our drinking session was held at the National Sports Grill, a watering hole we used to frequent way-way back when it was previously located at Greenbelt one. The smoking section outside is quite the spot to be to people watch, and I went ga-ga over the passing women and young ladies.

The traffic in SLEX was horrendous eventhough it was already past midnight. Had a few more bottles before settling down for the night at the farm. The next day, we went to Pavillion Mall's Pure Gold to shop for drinks and pulutan, which includes my all time favorite nacho recipe. Alcoholic drinks bought were Absolut Vodka, Jose Cuervo gold and Tanduay Rhum. Liquers included were grenadine, blue curacao and a number of fruit juices. Of course, never would be excluded therefrom.

Amidst the strong december winds passing through the lake, we concocted ice cold cocktails, some of which were Green Mai tai, Lemon Drops (a new personal fave of mine), tequila sunrise, Shark Bite and of course, the all time favorite frozen blue margarita.

Pulutan was rich... in cholesterol. The MSG coated peanuts, JL's invention of a chili-spring roll with bread crumbs deep-fried, my NSG rivalring Nachos, and... fried adobo wild game freshly shot. Yeah, you heard it right, Ka Willy went out on a 30 minute hunting trip with his semi-automatic hunting rifle and shot a few wild birds in the lake area. And this cuisine is not for the paranoid about avian flu. It was quite delicious and crispy, and really gamey... has a stronger taste and more stringy than your regular market birds. Oh, before I forget, lunch consisted of lechong 'talunan' (meaning, expensive Texas fighting cocks which died during a previous cockfight) and boy, the meat is indeed tough.

Then this morning, a semi-formal day reception was held at the grounds near the Trellis and the lake. White tents were set-up, a buffet table and round tables with baby blue trimmings. This garden reception could have been an Ascott or Hampton event had we been in Western Country side wearing the pompous attire of the traditional and noveau riche. The place looked marvelous. It was Baby Nathan's christening and house blessings of the newly renovated houses within the farm.

So, after spending the day eating, chatting and resting for a while, time to go back to Manila sweet Manila. I love that feeling of being rejuvenated after spending a long break in a place which has been a sanctuary for most of us for a number of years. The company of good friends and new friends, close to nature. It all seems so perfect, despite my personal knowledge of the troubles which lies in this place. A gathering always brings the best in people, share dreams and problems, and you can be at your worst, and laugh about it.

This is the break I've wanted for quite a while. And now, I feel energized once more. Time to celebrate once more in the spirit of Christmas with more friends from the various parts of my life, the people from high school, college and law school, family and personal friends.

I love this season, and despite personal and family circumstances which could make you think of the oddities of life, its a time to be thankful for the gift of life itself and love in all of facets.

Exile to Malabon...

One thing leads to another…

Two Saturdays ago JL called me up in the late afternoon whilst I was spending some quality time with Joyce. He had sought legal advice regarding search warrants. I must fail to disclose some details due to the somewhat privileged nature of the communication and God knows what, the powers that be of the State could possibly be watching my every move by now.

NOT!!! Hehehe.

After almost a week, he notified me in advance if he could stay in our house (location must not be disclosed. Hahaha.) for one night, whilst his brother will stay in his wife’s and in-laws house somewhere near my house. (This entry should be quashed for qualifying under the ‘void-for-vagueness doctrine.) I hafta oblige as a friend and reciprocate his hospitality and generosity over the years.

Lo and behold, before the expected day of search, the minions of the State came at night to their abode, his family having been tipped off, took flight and sought sanctuary in Southern Metro’s hotels, while my friend on the other hand, didn’t know what to do after, since he was attending to some matters. What scared them was that, for that particular night, checkpoints were set-up, and their fear was possibly being stopped at the checkpoints and being ordered arrested or what. If I were them, I would be scared indeed because of the two kids, and the youngest just being two months old.

So, after the trouble in Paradise, they continued with the plan, which they dubbed as ‘exile to Malabon.’ They couldn’t return to their town until today probably when all campaigning stops.

That Friday night, I was told to watch TV Patrol because a political rally was held by his father’s ‘manok’ that afternoon at the place where the search was conducted the night before, denouncing the acts of the manok’s political rival. I didn’t even listen to what was happening in that particular news segment, all I was looking at was the place, and I can’t believe it, there it was… that place which is my home away from home, where I find rural serenity, away from the noise that is Manila… is now in political turmoil.

Around 8 he came here after dropping off his brother, his brother’s wife and kids at the wife’s house nearby. We talked about the events at my own ‘pantalan’ (otherwise known as the bangkaan) (which btw, I rarely do sit down there, that as a matter of fact some of our bangkeros do not know I even exist, and that they mistake their employer for a passenger at times.)

So, after calling up our other college friend who also lives nearby, we decided to cruise around and look for some place new. After consulting with Cianelle, I decided we should try out that place known as Blue and Gold. She was correct in holding that the new place is far better than Balsa. Themed like a Mediterranean beach-bar with amenities like videoke rooms, private dining halls, live bands, KENO Lottery, and a Badminton Court beside it, it is a hidden sanctuary. The crowd is fine, mostly comprised of the local business class. The price, just right, if not the same with Balsa.

And so, the five of us, in the course of the night, dubbed their stay here as ‘Exile to Malabon.’

Point is, politics is one thing, the law is another… the law should not be used for political abuse… instead, it should be the other way around. Politics is dirty. Period. You can’t prejudice against the law enforcer since there is a presumption of regularity in the performance of duty. It is those who set the things in motion whom we should prejudice about.

xxx xxx xxx xxx

Cianelle and I found our new Coffee Shop just around the corner… Tiffany’s.

It’s a restaurant in Rosas Arcade which serves divergent food --- Italian, Chinese, Japanese and Pinoy dishes. They also serve alternative choices like soy and protein shakes and those thingies which you can see in fitness stores. Of course, COFFEE. Plus, it’s easy on the budget. You just walk out of the place, and you got an instant smoking veranda.
We’re planning on bringing in the Coffee subculture of the Graduate School courses (studying plus the ‘chillax’ mood) to that place. It ain’t that quiet though, it’s Malabon, studying in Coffee shops is unheard of, but nothing that earplugs can’t handle. So, once we spread the word, hopefully, the place would be teeming with the local medicine and law students. Plus, we can go there in our pambahay and cheap chinelas, and saves precious traveling time which could be spent on reading. And speaking of time, it is now time to hit the books.

And btw, Happy Mother’s Day… c”,) (especially to my ex-future-mother-in-law. Haha.)

So, Goodbye Starbucks for now, we found our new tambayan.