Starting it with a blast...

Call this entry a confession of some sort… but somehow, in my somewhat drunken state, I still have clarity of mind. I want to start the year right… cycles must close and new ones must begin. Somehow, this is a revelation of a darker side of me.

There are reasons why I cannot act in a certain way, and must practice restraint at all times. For one, I came from a known family. I carry a noble surname which I dare not tarnish. Secondly, my personality, no matter how much desirous I maybe of mundane things, I have a deep inculcation of dignity, integrity and honor.

Besides, I do not want to have a public record with the caption People of the Philippines versus ME and my Cousin for two counts of rape or acts of lasciviousness. I haven’t yet passed the bar, and I don’t intend to be disqualified.

This is the dark side of me. And my once estranged cousin is the one who let me broke loose. We share common lewd designs… and ipsa loquitor… it is lewd.

For you who will read this… please, put a brace around your head so that your jaws wouldn’t drop to the floor.

I do not blame my cousin, his nature is like so. He would hump anything that comes his way. (figuratively speaking) But when things get out of hand, I simply cannot rescue myself, or him. Lawyers save other people’s lives. But we cannot, and should not save ourselves, because emotions blur our judgment. So, if you heard Ferdinand Marcos defended himself during a murder trial against him, every lawyer will say that it is plainly stupid and imprudent. Now, why did Marcos got away? Simple. Evidence is weak. That is his circumstance. Circumstances are always different.

I have high dreams for myself. And between basic instinct and rationality, I would choose the latter.

Point is… our place is hovering with ‘japaks’ once in a while. (FYI… it is a college lingo which I learned ages ago for babaeng pakawala. Pokpok in short.) My ‘tauhan’ in my tiny fiefdom knows a plenty. It just so happened that it is the new year and one of them got drunk. I was ‘instigated’ my cousin and my bodyguard/driver to chat with her, whom I imbibed to drink further. Cousin, Japaks, and I went to my cousin’s place for more drinking. Just the three of us. Me, my cousin, and a drunken japaks. (Insert: LEWD DESIGN). I will not claim of having clean hands. (Or a clean tongue for that matter.) But the point is… what if everything goes wrong? (Mind you, we both are into three-ways and multiple entries. That is why my cousin is so special to me because he is as perverted as I am.) In legal sex, the most important element is CONSENT. Without consent, there is a crime committed. Since there was no consent for a ‘party’, I must give way for my horny cousin. Let him have it.

And what do I end up as for this night?

A celfone cinematographer.

With a 128 memory card, I could have managed an hour’s worth of movie-making. Had not the japaks noticed me, I would end up with a full length film.

But she did.

So, Plan B too was frustrated.

On the other hand, I’m glad it stopped, because I believe in karma.

I ain’t proud of what I did, but on the other hand, I now know how to plan a ‘scandal’ and film it for that matter.

And now, I must behave and refrain from any upcoming invitations for perversity. We had our moments of fun in the past, but it won’t happen again any time soon. Perhaps, when time, place, persons and circumstance are provident… I can’t simply say.


Happy New Year.